Finally got around to some wordage tonight. Nothing dramatic, but an important five hundred words nevertheless - as they're the opening scene of a new short piece. Tentative title Galton's Dreams.



WIP:

Frozen in fearful panic, I could only stare as the intruder swung through the opening in the fractured panes of glass, and stepped crunching onto the shard-littered corridor. She straightened and only then spotted me in the doorway ahead. The figure was a she, that much was clear, and the sharpest edge of the fear ebbed away as I realized the girl was alone. No police squad in sight.

We were both absolutely still, studying each other. It was difficult to make out her features; she wore a dark training suit and the moonlight slashing through the broken window was the only illumination. It leeched all the color from her face, and the sharp shadows cast across her narrow face gave her a ghostly aspect. Then she turned her head a little and the shadows shifted favorably - No, it could not be.

2 comments:

Tara Maya said...

cool

david heijl said...

thanks!

Just noticed I'm using the first person again in this opening scene. I'll want to change that into the third person; otherwise I'll get into trouble with the rest of the story.

I suppose that's what you get when the creative juices only get flowing after midnight. Some coolness but also silly mistakes :-)

Of course, all worries for the editing stage. First I need to figure out how this piece is going to end - I have a concept, some scenes, but no clue as to the end :(